greetings.

So apparently I like to take 4 month breaks between posts.  I'm back!  At least for today, anyway.  Greetings sir and madam.

My friend Audra and I (Hi Audra Lou, Esq.) were in the card-making mood again the other day, and here are a couple that came about from that batch.

Trip.

Today I rode in a minivan from Tulsa to Albuquerque. Here is some random stuff I drew during the drive.

Bizarre.  Perhaps this had to do with feeling trapped in a minivan.

Windmills.

Girl on Cow.  Er...if it has horns is is a bull?  I dunno.

Whoops!

People...and circles...and weird shadows.

Toe.

When you can't sleep and you're awake until 5am, what do you do?  Draw random children walking up stairs in toe shoes, of course.

I used to take ballet, you know.  For 10 years.  Ah, the fond memories of the "Big Ballet" that took place during the recital each year.  One year my class danced as candy on the gingerbread house in Hansel and Gretel.  And the next year, we were fish inside the whale for "Pinocchio the Ballet."  Yep, I believe these roles were SO vital to the overall production.  

And I've retained so much grace and poise through the years....

Ha!

hot.

So, once upon a time, a long time ago (when I was in high school) I went with my dad to a big field of tomato plants and brought home what had to be at least a hundred big tomatoes.  They covered my mom's counters throughout the whole kitchen.  Then we said...um...what are we going to do with all of these tomatoes?  So my parents found a good salsa recipe, and my family ventured into making many jars of salsa.  And I learned that you should wear gloves when cutting up zillions of jalapeños.

Then my mom's counters were full of jars that were full of salsa.  And we thought...um....what are we going to do with all of these jars full of salsa?  So my parents decided to give them away to their friends.  But first, of course, we needed a label.  And to have a label, you need a name.  And so because of my Dad's sick sense of humor (mine had to come from somewhere), the "Fireass" brand of salsa was born.

And I got to create the label for it.  On Print Shop.

We thought it was pretty spectacular.  

As the years progressed, however, and the old computer went on to the great Circuit City in the sky, we had to recreate the label.  Version 2 never had the ooomph that version 1 had in it's little dot-matrixy design and fabulous Print Shop clip art, so last year, we took it seriously and decided that Hoon's Therapeutic Gardens needed an updated, cool label for the Fireass brand of salsa.  

As the last few jars of the 2010 batch are being consumed by my family, my parents have been busy making a 2011 batch; naked jars ready for their labels once again.  Here's what will be slapped on the glass once again this year: the ever-classy donkey with its butt on fire.

thanks!

Tuesday marked 3 years of being married to my wonderful husband.  ...and his family.  I LOVE the Steichens.  They are the family who are all so smart, well-rounded, and talented.  Seriously - this is the type of family that spontaneously gathers around the piano and sings (yet are still somehow all very normal people) at the holidays....or really anytime 3 or more of them are gathered.  I'm pretty sure I'm the black-sheep of the family in that arena.

My mother-in-law is fabulous.  In fact, her nickname is FMIL - which pre-wedding stood for "Future Mother In Law," and 3 years later we both still use it on cards, etc. and say the F stands for Fabulous.  She once told me that if she was ever getting on my nerves the F could stand for something completely different.  Ha!

Anyway, my FMIL completely read my mind this week, and got me some beeyootimous new placemats.  Um...I mean "us."  She got US some new placemats.  

I was feeling a bit artsy fartsy, so I went ahead and made a homemade thank-you card.  Forgot to take a pic of the inside.  Whoops.

....Yep, another door in the background.

stencil.

I told you I loved Damask. This was a special order for a friend that needs a stencil of damask that incorporates African herd animal heads.  Why wouldn't that be something you could just pick up in the wallpaper store?  Well it should be.

finally.

Finally is not the name of the painting so much as me saying, "Look, I finally painted after a year of stalling."

Also, open doors behind people feature in several of my paintings and drawings.  Wonder what this means deep in my subconscious?

This painting has no name right now except for "Audra's," because I started it for her more than a year ago.  Aud - you may officially title this piece.  Might I suggest - "My painter is a big fat procrastinator?"

Jenny - you're up next.

sick.

When my friend Audra Lou H. Esquire asked me to draw her a card that was happy, we came up with a cutesy cartoon-y frog checking out some crazy double rainbows.

But then we decided that what would really make a nice card was someone with a heart that was exploding.  For those of you that just viewed the previous image, you might think this would mean a cute representation of a post-Whoville-sing-along grinch-like heart that's so filled with love it pops neatly out of one's chest.  But no...we have more of a sick sense of humor...so....this:

Is that blood on the wall?!  Yes...yes it is.  Please don't commit me.

Canvasium Pigmentio!

Look what I finally got.

Magic wands!

No...wait...sorry.  New paintbrushes is the correct answer.  Yep, that and paper on which to paint and/or draw.  Time for the sharpies to take a hiatus.

PS - I know it's really just bad lighting and a lack of knowledge about all the important things about photography...but I can't help but love these golden-hued photographs taken in our dimly-lit living room.

figgy.

I took this picture of some Black Mission figs the other day and fell in love with it.  I want to paint it.  I think it's partly the pattern the basket creates in the background....but it's mostly the colors.  Deep blackish purple, grandma-bathroom green, and a light creamy behind it all.  I'm in love.

Stinky.

Right.  I should buy a new sketchbook.  But you see....I had one.  It contained many things that I've already posted on here, and many many things that were not.  And then Mona got sick the other day.  Really sick.  While we were gone, she managed to break out of her crate.  And so when we returned, the room in which she was contained...contained what her stomach used to contain.  That was the same room that contained my sketchbook...and um...the sketchbook got it.  Got it good.  Apparently Mona thinks my drawings are great!  ....for her to poop on!

So, because I have no sketchbook, and because Mark was talking about the Babinski Reflex while his feet were in my lap, you now can be grossed out by this lovely woman.  Her name is Babs.

Might I add...this was a challenge for the both of us.

(dad)

In the heat of the moment, (this moment is the one on Father's Day where you realize you aren't in the same town as your parents and didn't send your dad a card or anything on time so that it would actually be there ON Father's day, so maybe it would make you seem like a better daughter to put a picture of him on Facebook with a little "Happy Father's Day!" comment next to it), I decided this, (I DREW a picture of my dad for facebook.  And then, for various reasons [I thought....hell....my dad doesn't have Facebook, why am I going through all the trouble of telling everyone else BUT him Happy Father's Day?  And my drawing was in Pink, and it was inspired by the same picture that my sister DID put on Facebook {and she DID get him a card and gift ON Father's Day}, and the easiest way to get it on Facebook was to take a crappy picture with my phone, so it would look crappy anyway], I did post a message and photograph of my Dad and me and shared with the world what I should be sharing with my dad...and this little crappy picture of a hot pink sketch of my dad was left with nowhere to be, no people to see.  Until now). would mean a lot.

green.

Trying to get back into the habit of blogging every day.  Slow going, I know.  And this certainly doesn't really count as a painting or drawing in the least, but...oh well.

Behold... Cilantro Pesto.  It was yummy.  And beautiful, beautiful green.  I love this color.  Have you ever noticed the color green right after a rain storm, when the sun is starting to come back out, but the sky is still that warm grey?  The way all the green looks during this moment is my favorite color.  Well, favorite at that moment anyway.  I have a different favorite color practically every day.  Today my favorite color is...Cilantro Pesto.

bathroom.

 Ah, good ol' bathroom humor.  So, one of my hubby's cousins is getting married, and apparently when he was younger, he thought these little framed sayings that my fabulous mother in law had in the bathroom were hilarious.  He later asked to have them, but I guess they were long gone at that point, so my mom-in-law had the idea of recreating them on a couple of 4x6 cards to be framed and given to the lucky couple just for laughs.

While the originals were apparently a western theme...Yeeeehaaaaw, she gave me free reign on the updated versions.  So, here is my take on toilet paper and...ahem..."sprinkles" in what I felt was a somewhat classy depiction.

I love the sprinkle/tinkle saying, by the way.  My friend Erin first introduced it to me in High School, only her take was "be a sweetie and wipe the seatie."

self.

Aaaaand I'm back.  Oh how I've missed you.  And you.  But mostly you.  (Shhh, don't tell the others).

When lack of inspiration hits...it's time for the self-portrait.  Hmmmm...my last post was actually a self-portrait too.  27 years later and still drawing the same ol' junk.  Note to self: Must get inspired.

I don't love the result, but the process was simply lovely.  I used a big chunk of a graphite stick on a plain ol' wooden board.  It was almost like cave painting.  ...Yeah, don't ask me how.  It just was.

I was bored.  And now I'm board.

Zeke

My one claim to fame...or claim to someone else's fame, maybe, is that I was buds with Chelsea Clinton in preschool and kindergarten.  Her dad was Governor at the time, and so that meant my friend lived in a pretty sweet house and we got driven around by her nanny a lot.

What I remember most about hanging out with Chelsea, though, is playing with their dog, Zeke. It was a blonde cocker spaniel that bit my face when I bent over to give it a hug.  I didn't have any hard feelings about it, though.  Apparently, I loved Zeke so much, that when all the kids in kindergarten drew pictures of what they liked most about going to an Easter event at the Governor's mansion, I did not draw the bus, or the swing set, or the Easter bunny like everyone else.  Nope.  I drew Zeke.  I can just imagine myself, separated from all the other kids, in my own world, just patting the lovable cocker spaniel on his head.  Apparently with a bow on my head.  And zombie arms.

Candice and Zeke, circa 1984

lilies

tree

Lately I've been playing around with researching my genealogy.  It's pretty fascinating.  I've traced my maiden name all the way back to the 12th Century in Scotland when the Colquhoun clan first took over the lands of Luss.  I have the names my mom's great grandparents that came over from Ireland in 1849, but unfortunately,  back in their hometown, they have the same name as...EVERYONE, so I haven't gotten much further than that.

Mark's line is fun to search for as well.  I found the common ancestor he shares with Edward Steichen, famous photographer, for one.  And I found a passenger list of a ship that came through Ellis Island with his grandfather (7 yrs. old) and great-grandparents on it.  They were originally from Lebanon (well, Syria, then), but this ship wasn't coming from there.  It was coming from Brazil.  We think they went to visit family that settled there, and were coming back home to Illinois.

It's super fun, and addictive to find little pieces of history which I just know will eventually lead me to find that Mark and I are somehow related (Oh well, I am from Arkansas...).  Anyway, this latest addiction might explain why in all my free time I've yet to
A - go buy new paintbrushes (not to mention paint)
B - go buy new sketchbooks
C - draw anything
D - charge the battery on my camera so that I can take pictures of all the stuff I haven't created the last few days with something other than my phone

Oh well.  At least I found an ancestor that was married to at least 4 women in his lifetime.  2 of them were sisters.  No, not a polygamist...each of the wives died before he remarried.  So far it doesn't look like any of the womens' deaths were TOO suspicious....

calvinball.

Have you ever played the game 1000 blank white cards?  The game is one in which you don't really have rules.  Or, you make them up as you go.  And then you break them!  And you draw!  And write stuff!  And get points!  Or lose points...   

The way it works is this:  everyone gets dealt a hand from a pile of blank white notecards at the beginning of the game.  They are armed with only a pen and their creative (or vicious) minds to make their own cards.  The cards can give or take points, suggest an action, make up a rule for the game, or are just to make people laugh.  I find that most of the cards fall into this last category.  Once everyone has a few cards with which to start, you simply go around the circle and play your cards, draw from the middle pile, make new cards as you go, and see what transpires.  

Here are a few cards I drew the last time we played.  I apologize for the grossness of the first one.  Groooosss.

When I played, one card made everyone eat bites of hot hot salsa or lose a turn.  One friend got peckish and made a "go get me a snack" card, and one card gave the player points if they could get our dog to bark.

not so spindly.

Spindly

Ran out of sketchbook.  Green squares of cardstock work...

Why is handstand girl wearing a bikini and a feather in her cap?  No idea.  No idea at all.

Simultaneously holding up a wall and pulling on a rope.  Tough job.

remnants

This isn't abstract painting.  

It's remnants, actually.

Paint left to dry on on a board that had been used as a palette. 

Unplanned, unintentional.  Yet in someways beautiful. 

A remainder, a reminder, of something else that was created.

I did get that board to paint on, though.  They'll eventually end up as a beginning to another creation.  One of their very own.  

...I kindof feel like singing "The Circle of Life" from the Lion King right now.  

must. have.

Holy.  Moly.  I need one of these tattooed dolls.  I heart them so much.

Mimi Kirchner Snake Charmer Doll

Mad Science.

Yeah, pretty much I used up all my Valentine related doodling and craftiness already.  So ON Valentine's day (or Valentine's Eve right now), I give you....Mad Science.

Decided I needed more windows.  And shadows.  Looks more mad.  Madder.

I'm sure it relates, though.  Isn't love what all mad scientists are after in the movies? (Well...that and world domination).  The crazed goggle-sporting doctor, or kindof dorky high school kid (Weird Science anyone?) is always creating love interests out of robots, computer programs, or reanimated corpse parts and lightning.  That is, when they aren't mixing up toxic sludge and fairy dust into the perfect love potion or handsome juice in order to woo said love interest.

Um...anyway, I hope you enjoy a day to celebrate love.  Or CHEMISTRY with your loved one.  Ha!  See?  It totally relates.

Don't go mad.

laughable.

Beer me...I mean, I love you.

your love makes me fly

the dill is, I love you.

relieved.

lines.

I like lines.  Not standing in them...drawing them.  I like sortof - but not quite - parallel, repeated lines used to create shadow.  I like drawing people.  Kindof serious people drawn in a slightly weird-looking or naive way.  I like a little bizarreness.  Can you tell?

And I think these 2 people might be part of the reason why:  Edward Gorey, illustrator/writer.  Mateusz Skutnik, of Pastel Games.  Their artwork makes me happy when I look at it.  Very very happy.